Massage and Emotions

I was working with a client today and afterwards we were talking about his experience on my table. He said that at one point he almost felt like crying. I replied that it is not an uncommon thing for emotions to come up during a massage/bodywork session, and all emotions are welcome here. When we deny or stuff emotions, we inhibit our capacity for healing and growth and truly be in the now and live and authentic life.  When we look at ourselves, our body, mind and spirit and how they all play together it is no surprise that emotions can surface in a session. The challenge for most men and women is allowing themselves to be present for whatever comes up. I will certainly not judge them and invite them not to judge themselves.

Our life story starts at the moment we are conceived. Everything that happens to us is stored in our bodies or should I say our cells. Some memories are good and invoke feeling of warmth and security, some are bad memories that make us contract and clench our bodies. As a trained somatic therapist it is part of my training to deal with emotions. Emotions can be anything from anger, sadness, grief, panic, anxiety, frustration and even laughter and joy.  It can be a simple sigh of relief or a deep breath. It can a few tears. Some emotions may just be a sense of heat or cold in an area of the body.   “When the massage therapy begins to disrupt the underlying physical patterns behind the pain, then emotional patterns related to the chronic physical pattern may surface.” Psychology of the Body-Elliot Green

Sexual, physical and emotional trauma at any age can leave it’s imprint on bodies and emotions and leave our nervous systems overwhelmed and stuck in a fight, flight or freeze. Even the lack of touch and not taking time for our own needs can create a great deal of tension in the body. Overtime when we ignore our needs and emotions and do not allow them to discharge or be met in some way we can develop body armor.  Armoring (self protecting) in the body is a natural result of trauma that has not been dealt with or allowed to be discharged in a safe environment.  The effects of Trauma can be summarized as: chronic patterns of involuntary tension in the body that dampen or block emotional expression, alter perception of both the outer and inner psychological world, diminish or eliminate body felt sense awareness and even inhibit our range of motion. The war vet will think that a loud noise is a gunshot and duck and cover for protection. The man that was abused sexually/physically may think a touch with good intention is meant to do harm.  People in car accidents that experience impact /whiplash may experience a stiff neck and chronic upper body tension, migraines and even tense up when driving a car.  All these effects when ignored in the long run diminish our well being and quality of life.

As a trained Somatic therapist it is essential to offer a safe, nurturing environment.  In a world with so much chaos and demands more and more people are living with overwhelmed nervous systems and trauma. The skill of being present with the client is essential. Being present is: holding space with open heart, free of judgment and hidden agendas of any kind. When this space is created it can open the door where you can totally allow the experience and be present for whatever shows up. To do this requires  not only skill but  that you have done and are doing  do your own personal emotional work as well. With all my training and life experience I have had shed my won tears, faced my demons and have learned to set boundaries.

An emotional release is never expected. The point is to educate clients that if emotions do come up it is perfectly natural and part of growth and healing. And at some point if the client is truly showing up, surrendering to the experience and being present with themselves some form of emotional release is inevitable.

Your Guide to The New Gay Massage Therapist

The reputation of a gay massage therapist is very different than it was just a few years ago. With the newfound acceptance of the gay community increasing every day, many people are coming to the realization that these professionals are capable of providing a great service to a great many people. They give expert therapy to those who are in need of relief from stress, anxiety, sore muscles, overworked joints, and a frazzled mind. It is true that a majority of the clients of a gay masseuse are other gay males, but the number of straight males who are choosing to get their rubdowns from these masseurs is increasing dramatically, especially in the bigger cities.

More straight males are finding that a gay massage can really provide services that are fulfilling therapy wise without any trace of eroticism whatsoever. With the rise of the metrosexual male comes a huge increase in the business that many of these professionals are getting. A metrosexual male is described as a straight man who really grooms himself very well, most often way more than the average male would by getting manicures and pedicures, for example. These guys are as straight as they come, but are finding that the benefits of many services are well worth the time and money. Part of the group of services that fit right in with the metrosexual is a session with a male masseur. The most common reason that is given as to why straight men would see this type of professional as opposed to a female was simple: because men have stronger hands and can dig into those knots and sore muscles much deeper and better than a womans more petite hands can.

The services from a gay masseur are just as emotionally and physically satisfying as one from a female for these guys, but in addition to that satisfaction is also a sense of comeradery that is shared between males. Guys can talk it up with their buddies just as well as women can with their girlfriends, and getting a rubdown from a gay masseuses offers opportunities to relax and unwind with one of the guys. For the guys who are gay, getting massage services is considered the ultimate experience for them, whether the point of services is therapeutic, emotional, physical, platonic, or even if it is sexual.

Benefits Of Going To A Gay Massage Therapist

Even though there are some people who are uncomfortable with receiving a rubdown from a gay massage therapist, it is easy to understand why so many people are completely relaxed with it. In fact, there are plenty of men (gay or straight) who prefer going to a male masseur, whether the masseur is straight or not. Many men seem to worry that they might become sexually aroused during a session that is supposed to be physically beneficial if they receive one from a woman, and they don t want to deal with an embarrassing unwanted erection. It is for this reason that many men prefer to go to a professional fellow man.

Now, some straight men may be uncomfortable going to a gay massage therapist, but at the same token many gay men may be uncomfortable getting a massage from a straight masseur. Many gay men turn to the masseurs that are also homosexual, but they can be difficult to find since many massage parlors do not want to deter either straight or homosexual clients by catering to one or the other.

However, the benefits are worth doing a little detective work to find a place that they are comfortable with. For those who are straight, they can enjoy a rubdown without the stress of worrying about sexual contact. It is thought that when a straight man can get a good massage from another man it reduces feelings of insecurity and it can also increase self esteem. There seems to be some psychological benefits to a good physical rubdown!

Going to a gay massage therapist has its benefits to a gay man too, because the element or fear of feeling ostracized or out of place disappears. The entire point of a massage is to completely relax, but this is very hard to do when you don t feel like you fit in with the rest of the clientele at a place or even with the staff, for that matter. Knowing that you have nothing to fear with your specific masseur can really alleviate anxiety.

It is recommended that every man, no matter what his sexual orientation is, be able to experience the satisfaction of receiving a therapeutic rubdown from a straight or gay massage therapist in a non judgmental and socially positive atmosphere. Whether that means having a gay or straight man giving the massage, the choice should be up to the client. Thankfully these days there are many excellent resources on the Internet for finding a masseuse in your area that will be able to cater to any and all of your needs with many different types of therapies and techniques, whether you choose a straight or a gay massage therapist.

Vitamin “T” – The essential need of TOUCH

Touching can reassure us, relax us, comfort us, or arouse us, like nothing else. In a way, the importance of touch is so basic that we tend to take it for granted, just as we do breathing. As children, we were curious to touch everything we saw. But frequently as our hands reached out to explore, an adult voice could be heard to say, “don’t touch,” followed by an assortment of reasons implying that touching could be dangerous, rude, disrespectful, shameful, unsanitary, and even sinful. Many of us have been taught, either openly or by example, that touching is something to be suspicious of and avoided. This kind of ingrained thinking is often responsible for the sexual dysfunction we experience as adults. These constraints are difficult to shed, further inhibiting us from natural physical contact with others.

No one is exempt from needing to be touched. Humans need to touch and be touched, just like we need food and water.  The connection between touch and well being is far more than skin deep. From the moment of birth our tactile sense is being stimulated. Pushed out, picked up, and slapped on the bottom, we are placed at our mother’s breast, and a bonding process begins.

Your skin is also your largest organ. In a grown man, it covers about 19 square feet and weighs about 8 pounds. A piece of skin the size of a quarter contains more than 3 million cells, 100 to 340 sweat glands, 50 nerve endings and 3 feet of blood vessels.

The need for bonding, or close physical contact with another human being, remains with us throughout our lifetime. It generally feels good to have another human being’s skin come into contact with our own. Some of us repress our craving for warmth and affection, while others go to extremes to obtain it. Much of how we function as adults, depends on how we were nurtured during infancy. We have all experienced moments when the touch of a hand on our shoulder or a reassuring hug was all that was needed to reduce our fear, anxiety, or loneliness. Touching is an act of love, a way of communicating without words.

Scientists have shown that the amount of body contact in our lives plays a vital role in our mental and physical development as infants and in our happiness and vigor as adults. Touch influences our ability to deal with stress and pain, to form close relationships with other people, and even to fight off disease.

The need for touch, as important as it is throughout our lives, is never more crucial than immediately following and shortly after exit from the womb. Because vision and hearing take time to fully develop, touch becomes possibly the most critical of all the senses to the newborn. There’s no question that babies deprived of motherly affection don’t fare too well–emotionally or physically. Years of experience with infants raised in public institutions have shown this to be true. Earlier in the century, infants, forced to live in such sterile environments, often wasted away and died. Back then, no one could provide any good explanations. Today, scientists offer fresh insight. Their studies on both human and animal babies have shown that the brain–by releasing or withholding certain chemicals–regulates the physical and emotional development of the infant. And the brain’s actions, in turn, are controlled by touch. In studies with premature infants, half of the tiny babies, selected at random, were gently stroked for 45 minutes a day. The other half was not. Although all were fed the same amount of calories, after ten days, the touched babies weighed-in 47% heavier than the unstimulated group. Not only were those babies bigger, they were happier as well. The stroked kids were more active, more alert and more responsive to social stimulation.

In the adolescent years, the parents and child begin to withdraw from one another; the teenager, out of a sense of self-consciousness with her new feelings and physical changes, and the parents, out of book-learned attitudes and discomfort with their developing offspring. Hugging, kissing, and physical closeness may diminish or stop completely then, leaving the young adult starved for affection. This hunger is often satiated through indiscriminate sex with peers; a way of continuing touching where parents left off. The need for touching does not exclude the elderly. While the skin of an older person may be aesthetically less appealing because of wrinkles, spotting, and dryness, the human being inside the skin craves touching more than ever.