Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male- Alfred Kinsey
The history of medicine proves that in so far as man seeks to know himself and face his whole nature, he has become free from bewildered fear, despondent shame, or arrant hypocrisy. As long as sex is dealt with in the current confusion of ignorance and sophistication, denial and indulgence, suppression and stimulation, punishment and exploitation, secrecy and display, it will be associated with a duplicity and indecency that lead neither to intellectual honesty nor human dignity. — Alfred Kinsey, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male (1948)
Taoist Erotic Massage
Presence is as important to erotic massage as it is to therapeutic massage. Your participation in this experience is being present and letting it unfold. This includes conscious breathing, awareness of how your body responds to touch, and possibly finding that you can explore erotic energy in ways that you weren’t previously aware were possible.
Taoist Erotic massage is about the flow of erotic energy throughout the body. This can heighten and prolong the erotic experience, in a way that you may carry the power of erotic energy into your life in a fuller way. For many who practice Taoist Erotic massage, the experience becomes a powerful spiritual awakening. Some spiritual teachings view erotic energy as a gateway to higher consciousness and union with the Divine. Be who you are and don’t fear expressing what comes up for you it might be words or sounds, laughter, tears, or moving your body. If it is there, feel free to let it out.
The Breath is an important element in Taoist erotic massage. I will coach you to breathe deeply and rhythmically, changing patterns through the massage. The Taoist erotic massage can build to a Big Draw. A Big Draw further enhances the experience by concentrating the energy you have built up into the core of your body. This includes focused, increasingly rapid breathing culminating in clenching your body and breath, holding them tight and then releasing. Like the rest of erotic massage, the Big Draw is about the allowing yourself to feel the experience as it unfolds and not trying to direct the experience.
The best place to learn how to do the Big Draw is at the Body Electric School. The School holds weekend classes called Celebrating the Body Erotic in cities throughout the country. There are classes for men, for women, for mixed-gender couples and for gay male couples. I strongly recommend this class for anyone interested in Taoist erotic massage. It is an incredible experience that can change your life!
“Celebrate Sex”- a San Diego workshop for Gay/Bisexual/Transgender Men
Dear Colleagues:
On Saturday, December 6th, from 1:00PM to 2:30PM, I am offering the “Celebrate Sex” workshop at the LGBT Center in San Diego. Reservations are requested and there is no charge for the workshop. This interactive, playful and humor-filled workshop is limited to 40 gay, bisexual or transgendered men (ages 18 and older). Feel free to share this email with your clients and if you – or they – have any questions, drop me a line at beyondtherapy@cox.net or call me at 619-955-3311. Here is an excerpt from my September 2008 article (from San Diego’s The Bottom Line magazine) that inspired the San Diego LGBT Center to ask me to create this workshop.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Sincerely,
Michael
As gay/bisexual/transgender (GBT) men, having a healthy sex life is a BIG part of our life. Lately – in case you’ve been living in a cave – it’s all too easy to focus on what we’re doing WRONG sexually. There are so many articles about barebacking, AIDS/HIV, STDs, impersonal hookups, sex addiction, how Adam4Adam and Manhunt are “destroying” gay life…you know. How often do we focus on what’s RIGHT with our sexual lives? How often do we let ourselves CELEBRATE sex and how much we enjoy it? Do we have to make sex “the enermy”? Can’t sex be something to celebrate? I say “yes!” To do this, it helps to let go of our old, negative ideas about sex.
As GBT men – regardless of our age – most of us have a lot of shame and embarrassment about our sexual histories and fantasies
Most of us get our fundamental ideas about sex from our childhood. Ask yourself:
What are my family beliefs about sex?
How have these beliefs helped me?
How have they held me back?
Take a look at your current sexual life. Ask yourself:
What do I have to celebrate about sex?
What are some of the most wonderful sexual experiences I’ve had?
How have these experiences changed me?
Are there any obstacles you have to celebrating your sexual self? Consider:
What stands in my way of enjoying a terrific sex life?
Am I holding onto any old ideas that hold me back sexually?
Do I have any physical challenges that hold me back sexually?
Celebrating your sexual fantasies: can you enjoy them without all that old 20th century guilt and shame?
Do I let myself have sexual fantasties? If so, do enjoy them?
What are some of my fantasies about sex?
Have I ever fulfilled a sexual fantasy? When and how?
Are there any sexual fantasies that I would really like to experience? If so, how could I make them a reality?
Celebrating a well-balanced sexual life: A well-balanced sexual life involves our head and heart, not just our genitals.
What role does your head (thinking) play in your sexual life? Do you want it to be more or less involved?
What role does your heart (feeling) play in your sexual life? Do you want it to be more or less involved?
What role do your genitals (libido) play in your sexual life? Do you want them to be more or less involved?
How can you balance your head, heart and genitals to make your sexual life really alive?
A happy and healthy sex life is a major part of our mental and physical health. If we are willing to see our sexual expression as a wonderful and essential part of who we are, we have the capacity to be mentally and physically healthier than ever before. So, let’s stop focusing on what’s wrong with our sexual lives and – instead – let ourselves CELEBRATE sex. .
Thoughts on Sexual Energy
“…Sexual energy cannot be neatly separated from the rest of the energy spectrum that activates and animates us all. …The expression of sexual energy manifests the deepest and most powerful urge to merge ourselves with another.
“While most of us think of it as just physical, … sexual conjoining involves all three basic dimensions: matter/energy, subtle energies, and consciousness. In the orgasmic release we open ourselves completely to the other, but also give ourselves to the other. In its fullness, this is the most profound recognition of our connectedness not only with the one other, but to all others. In the momentary weakening of our own defenses we simultaneously sense the fullness of our own power.
“That is why western cultures and religions fear sexual energy and try to repress it. They do not want humans to know about and realize the extent of their own powerfulness. By keeping sexual energy boxed up it can be redirected to violence of all kinds or to mindless work.
“People who are sexually alive cannot not be suppressed and manipulated as others can. Being truly sexually satisfied makes possible the use of the rest of the energy spectrum for its most visionary and creative work. Such a use of the mind threatens the hierarchical powers of religion, governments, corporations, and other institutions designed for control of the masses by the few.”
- Paul Von Ward
